Howl
by DarcyR
Summary: Alyssa lost everything fourteen years ago. Now she finds herself searching for a future to make up for her lost past. Rated T for now. FenrisxOC
1. Chapter 1 Prologue: When We Were Young

**Prologue - When we were young**

Alyssa ran down the small, dusty alley; the screams of her mother fading behind her. She exited the end of the narrow alleyway to find herself in front of a beautiful tree. Vhenadahl. The tree of the people. Alyssa was human, yet she believed she appreciated its beauty more than any elf her age. Her small legs walked her over to the tree almost of their own accord. Elves walked past her, some bewildered but most used to her presence. Her mother, Carin, was a tailor who lived in the slums bordering the alienage. She often visited some of the elves, fashioning simple garments for them in return for their services watching over Alyssa.

The small girl sat by the tree, shielding her eyes from the sun as she stared up its mighty structure.

"Oww!" she exclaimed as something collided with the back of her head. Turning to look down at the ground behind her, she found the culpable object. A stick. With an equally culpable boy striding towards it. He must have been a year or two older than her and he was tall for an elf. Behind him was a young elf girl, a frown sitting on her small features.

"That's my sword." said the boy, as if it explained everything.

"No, it's your _stick. _And it hit _my _head." Alyssa pointed out.

"I'm sorry." he said.

"Don't be sorry to her." shrieked the girl who was with him, nudging him hard in the ribs with her elbow. "She's human. It's their fault we live in an alienage. Their fault that we have no coin."

"Not my fault." pouted Alyssa, crossing her arms.

"Why are you here?" demanded the elven girl rudely.

"I was looking at the Vhenadahl." A sense of pride washed over her at her knowledge of the correct word for the landmark tree. She might even have felt a little smug.

"That's an elvish word. You can't speak it."

Alyssa frowned. She'd heard the Hahren telling the elven children of the Vhenadahl. That it was the tree of the people. She hadn't heard the rest of the story, as her mother had taken her home, but she thought it was for all people.

"Don't talk to her like that." came a voice from behind them. The children turned their eyes to see an older girl, her hands planted on her thin hips. Arabella was Alyssa's older sister. She stood, tall and elegant at the age of fifteen with long chestnut tresses that hung in soft curls all the way to her waist. Two thin braids were pulled back, one on each side, serving only to highlight the angles of her delicate face.

"Come on, Leto. Let's go." snarled the snooty elven girl, tugging on the boy's sleeve. She eyed the two human children with a look of disgust.

He turned to follow her, but looked back over his shoulder. "Will you be here again tomorrow? You could come out to play with us."

Before she could reply verbally, Alyssa was seized by the arm. Her mother looked furious.

"Alyssa! Arabella!" Her mother's voice was harsh as she stared down at her. "March on home. Now."

Before leaving, her mother turned and spoke to the two elven children.

"Varania, please ask your mother if she is still available tonight." she said.

The elf nodded and Carin took that as her cue to pull her daughter away by the arm.

"Why did you ask for the elf's mother?" Alyssa enquired, watching her mother comb out her hair. The comb that Alyssa was not allowed to touch.

"Mayla is supposed to watch you tonight. Those children are hers."

"So Mayla is Leto's mother?" questioned a curious Alyssa.

"Yes. Now I must hurry. I have no time for this. I do not have time to await her arrival." Carin stood up, fussing with her plain dress, the neckline scooping low as she walked to the door. "Come on."

"Leto, is it?" chirped Arabella as she finished anointing her body with the cheap scented oils. "Aw, has my little sister got a crush?"

"No. Boys smell." replied Alyssa, crossing her arms with a pout.

Arabella grinned wickedly before slipping on her linen shoes and moving towards the door.

"Where are we going?" Alyssa moved to follow her mother out of the door of their tiny house.

"Night will fall soon. We must make haste if we are to get you to Mayla's before. I do not want to be on the streets after dark."

Alyssa's hand was snatched up into Carin's as the woman tugged her along behind her, her footsteps quick and hurried. Alyssa often had other women look after her at night, now that her sister was allowed to go with their mother. Her mother went to work then. She always told Alyssa that she worked somewhere that only adults could go. Arabella had reached fifteen last Michaelmas and their mother had deemed her ready to accompany her to work. She said her job was 'serving drinks and relaxing people' but Alyssa heard what the older children said about her. She heard their cruel laughs as they said horrible things regarding her mother. Things that could be true.

It did not take them long to reach the alienage and the little crooked house. Carin rapped her knuckles roughly on the wooden door, shifting her wait from foot to foot. Withing moments, Mayla threw open the door.

"Carin, I take it you received my message?" she asked, writhing her hands. A grave look was upon her usually cheerful face. She stood a head shorter than Carin, with sun-kissed skin and a kind face. Her green eyes glittered in the moonlight like emeralds of the highest clarity.

"I'm afraid not. Was it important?"

"My brother is very ill. I could not leave my home tonight as he is in bed. I fear the fever shall take him."

"I'm... sorry to hear that. I'll take Alyssa elsewhere. Sorry. You must understand my curtness, it's just that I'm late and-"

"Nonsense. I will not go back on my word. Alyssa may stay here tonight." Mayla's voice was low and sincere, yet even she could not hide the nerves she felt. "That is if you don't mind her staying here. In the alienage."

"Your home is as good as any and your trust as honorable as the richest of men." Carin allowed a small smile to grace her full, red lips. "I shall return for her as soon as I'm finished. My prayers are with your brother."

The woman bent down to place a gentle kiss on her daughter's head. Sadness swam in the depth of her hazel eyes as she said farewell to her child. Arabella gave her a quick hug. She could have sworn that Arabella was crying. Alyssa looked up at the elf, still standing in the doorway.

"Well? Get inside before you catch a cold!" urge Mayla as she ushered Alyssa through the door. The house, if you could call it that, was little more than 3 small, cramped rooms. At one end a table sat with four mismatched stools around it. There were some bedrolls in a cramped corner. Over the fire, a pot bubbled. However, none of these things caught Alyssa's eye.

There was only one thing that caught her eye. The two children, sitting in the corner, playing cards in the light of the fire. Leto looked up at her and smiled, before asking her if she wanted to join them.

"If she's playing, I'm not." scowled Varania.

"Fine. Don't play." replied Leto, dealing the cards out again.

Varania turned as red as her hair. "She shouldn't be here. She doesn't belong in the alienage."

"Just ignore her." called Mayla, from her position by the pot. "Varania, be nice."

"Nice my arse." muttered Varania. "Fine! Deal me back in then."

Leto smiled kindly at Alyssa as he collected the cards from her hand and began to shuffle again.

That summer flew by as Alyssa grew accustomed to her new-found friends. She'd never had proper friends. In fact, all her life she'd only had her sister. But now, well, now she'd met Leto. And Varania. She was fun in her own way.

Leto ducked under the table to come face to face with Alyssa.

"Found you!" he said.

"No fair! You peeked! I saw you!" defended Alyssa. It wasn't fair. They always found her first.

"Move up."

Alyssa budged to make room for the boy to sit beside her. The merchant's table was covered by an expensive silk sheet and in the clamor of the morning market, he never once noticed the children duck under it. Leto liked to call it their den. Alyssa preferred to call it their base. She peeked out from under the sheet. Her arm snaked up to pluck an apple from a nearby crate. She took a bite, the flavour bursting in her mouth before passing the apple to Leto.

"I have something to give you." he said, after taking a bite.

It seemed odd to the girl that he would be able to afford anything. Her eyes were fixed on him as she waited expectantly. Leto fished around in the large pocket of his torn linen breeches and pulled out a long black length of ribbon.

"It's so you can tie your hair back. It always falls in your face when we climb trees."

Alyssa took the ribbon and grinned. "Thanks. I've never been given a present before."

"Ah, it's not much. I did someone's errands for them and they gave me a few coppers."

His eyes fell to the ground and he traced shapes into the dust with his finger, his messy black hair falling into his eyes.

"You look sad, Leto." commented Alyssa. She put her small hand onto his.

"Nah, I'm okay." When he looked up, their was a sad smile on his face. "It's just that I-"

"Oi! Get out from under there now!"

Fat hands grabbed the back of their tunics. The merchant was pulling them out from under the table. Alyssa bit her lip. She was going to be in so much trouble when her mother found out.

"I wish I didn't have to tell mother what happened." sighed Arabella, as she led her younger sister home.

"You don't." replied Alyssa. Her voice was almost a plea.

"You know I have to. I mean, you were caught stealing. I know it was only an apple but you have to think before you do things, sweet sister. Oh, she is going to kill us." Arabella shook her head as she opened the door to their tiny home.

Alyssa took a breath and closed one eye, the other peering tentatively, expecting to fall on her mother's angry form. But, alas, it was not that they found.

You see, dear reader, nothing could have prepared the two girls for what lay within.

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><p><strong>A Note From The Author:<strong>

Hello and welcome to the first installment of Howl. Why is it called Howl? Well because of this quote from Dragon Age 2:

_I don't know my real name. My master called me Fenris, his "little wolf." - Fenris_

Hope you like. It gets better, I promise._  
><em>


	2. Chapter 2  Searching For The Past

Alyssa's P.O.V.

A bead of sweat ran down my forehead. Raising a hand to swat it away, I sat up, my breathing heavy. That damned nightmare again. Every time that I regressed to my childhood, I remembered. It always felt like it was happening all over again.

"Pull yourself together. The past is in the past." I reassured myself. The fire still crackled in the light of the rising sun. Through the canopy of trees above me, I could make out bits of the sky fading from night to day. I broke my fast quickly, a meagre meal of bread and honey, eager to get back on the road.

The sun was still rising when I left my camp. In the early light of the morning, I made haste to continue on my journey. The wind was a cold whisper, cutting through my woollen tunic. I pulled my cloak tight around me in a vain attempt to shut out the cold that signalled a winter creeping upon us. I flexed my back, feeling the reassuring hug of my longbow and daggers, the only true friends I had known since the last time I had been here. Kirkwall.

I could taste the salt in the air as I walked towards the city walls. Way up above, Viscount's Keep frowned down upon me. I was nearing the gates now, my heart beating faster at the knowledge that beyond those bricks was Lowtown. My _home_, if you could call it that. It had been fourteen years since I had last been here. I navigated the slums quickly and expertly, my hood up, lest somebody recognise me. The chances were slim after all these years, of course. I knew that. However, when your life hangs in the balance, you don't take chances. My feet seemed to move of their own accord, in the direction of the narrow staircase that I knew would take me to Hightown. The last corner was coming up when a noise caught my attention. My reflexes were quick from years of practice and within moments, I had drawn my longbow and moved in the direction of the noise. My steps were silent and swift. A clash of blades. The strange crack of magic. The fight went on before my eyes. A group of bandits were being eradicated by three strangers. The woman in their midst commanded her daggers with artful precision. Suddenly she and the mage ran after three of the bandits. leaving _him_ behind.

The elf was a curious creature. Glowing tattoos snaked up his arms as he wielded a greatsword with ease. My eyes watched as an assassin crept up on him. He wasn't quick enough. I watched the bandit raise two sharp blades and reacted on impulse. The arrow buried itself in his skull just as the elf killed the last man standing. I turned to leave, my longbow slipping back into its place upon my back, but he was fast. A strong hand seized my wrist and I turned towards him. His touch sent a spark of electricity up my arm and I found myself glued to the spot.

"Who are you?" he demanded, his voice a low rumble.

"Sorry. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." I retorted, rather childishly.

"Where is he? Where is Danarius?" He snarled. His words were coated with suspicion and spite, his fingers digging deeper into my wrist. I didn't flinch. Somehow his touch was comforting and oddly familiar.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I racked my mind, trying to place that name. Unless... No. Was this Danarius the reason for what happened years ago? Had my mother known him? Silently, I flicked my free wrist, a small dagger falling down into my grip. Using all my weight, I threw him off-balance and pressed him to the wall, blade to his throat.

"Who is this Danarius you speak of? What does he have to do with my family?" I demanded he tell me.

Instead, he smiled a most curious smile and leaned as close as my blade would allow him to.

"You can't lie to me. Time to die." He whispered, his tattoos glowing brightly. His smile grew in a disconcerting fashion.

"Fenris! No!" screamed a female voice from behind me. "Anders stop him."

"I can try." replied a male voice.

In a blink, the man before me stood frozen to the spot. Quick as a whip, I turned round to face them.

"What have you done? I was just about to get my answers." I couldn't believe these imbeciles had ruined what might have been my only opportunity.

"Well, he _was_ about to rip your heart out. He's cranky like that." sighed the woman. "He's a pussycat really, as long as you don't have anything to do with his former master."

"I wouldn't quite go that far, Hawke. He's hardly a barrel of laughs." interjected the mage beside her.

"You just don't know him." replied the woman, whose name I had learned was Hawke.

"Why save me? How do you know I'm not working for this Danarius he speaks of?" I asked, watching her warily. I fingered the small blade in my hand, cautious not to let my guard down.

"Oh I don't know. I'm just feeling benevolent today. Besides, you have an air of niceness about you." answered Hawke with a slight shrug.

"Well, let it be known that you have my thanks." I told her with a small nod, reaching into the pouch hanging from my belt. She likely thought I was pulling out coin to thank her. She couldn't have been more wrong. With a flick of my wrist, I threw a smokebomb and with that I ran.

The cold hit him square in the chest, paralysing him completely. Once he thawed, he swore he'd beat the crap out of Anders. Watching from beneath a blanket of ice, he saw her leave. The strange archer who'd saved his life only to threaten it. Something in her eyes had almost made him pity her. There was such a sadness within the hazel depths. However, if she was working for his former master then he could hold no sympathy nor respect for her. Soon enough, he felt himself regaining movements. Both Hawke and himself were surprised when he did not charge at Anders but instead slumped down the wall to the floor. His gaze fell to the ground.

"Fenris, she was innocent." assured Hawke.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"Danarius knows you're a competent fighter. There is no way he would send a lone assassin. Especially not one as ill-equipped as her. Her daggers were blunted from years of use and she didn't even wear armour." The young woman shook her head in disapproval.

"I just wish I could hold his beating heart in my hand. I can't stand having to watch my back for fear of an attack at any moment."

Fenris clenched his fists in anger, but quickly released the tension in his hands. The anger was replaced by sadness, filling him completely.

"Beating heart, huh?" sighed Hawke, rubbing the bridge of her nose wearily. "Come on then, drama queen. I'll buy you a drink."

My eyes took in the building before me. The Blooming Rose. The building rose up, nestled in the red lantern district of Hightown. I took a deep breath before pushing the door open and striding in. It was surprisingly busy for daytime. Elven women sat across templars, one in her small-clothes, their lithe limbs wrapping around the men. Of course their were human women working there too, but the elves drew far more attention due to their exotic beauty. I darted between tables to the bar, signalling for the bartender.

Before I could order, a dwarf took a seat beside me. I tensed up automatically, my muscles tense and ready to fight at any moment. It was unpleasant having to spend my life in constant fear of those around me.

"Quintus!" called the dwarf to the bartender. "A pint of your finest ale for my friend here. Hell, I'll have one too."

I eyed him suspiciously. "I didn't realise it was that easy to make friends."

"We have a mutual acquaintance." he replied as two stout mugs of ale were placed in front of us. I drank down a few gulps greedily, quenching the thirst I'd gathered from running.

"And just who would that be?"

"You had a knife to his throat not 20 minutes ago." replied the man. "I'm Varric, by the way."

"I don't care who you are." I stared down into the murky beverage. For their finest ale, it was terrible. Cheap and watered down.

"You think I followed you all this way for no reason?" Varric sighed. "You seemed interested in information. And I've got plenty of that."

"Great. So you can tell me who runs this place."

"That would be Madam Lusine, over there." Varric craned his neck and pointed me in the direction of a sour-looking woman with the gaudiest make I'd ever seen.

The rest of the ale slipped down my throat quickly, warming me as I drank. I turned away from the bar and ran into someone, sending their tin tray crashing to the ground. I bent down to help them pick up a mug but I froze when I met their eyes. Hazel eyes mirrored mine.

"Arabella?" I whispered.


	3. Chapter 3  Dear Arabella

The word hung between them, the silence deafening. Hazel eyes mirrored each other. Unblinking. Unwavering. After what seemed like hours, the older female broke the silence, collecting the tin mug from the ground and straightening up to her full height.

"I'm sorry, but you're mistaken." she said softly, lowering her eyes. "My name is Laisa."

"Laisa the Lovely." added Varric, with a nostalgic tone.

Alyssa ignored him, her eyes fixed on the woman. Her brow furrowed.

"It's me, Arabella." she said, her voice a plea. "It's me. Alyssa."

"I'm sorry, miss. You must be mistaking me for someone else." the other woman said, yet her eyes never left the ground. If anybody could have seen her eyes at that moment, they would have seen that they were wet with tears.

"No! I'm not mistaken! Why are you being like this?" Alyssa's voice was growing louder, attracting the attention of a few of the men and women nearby. This woman had to be Arabella. Alyssa recognised her as soon as she saw her. She was adamant it was her sister. She knew it. She could _feel_ it.

"I... I'm sorry." whispered the waitress, turning to leave. Alyssa dodged around her and blocked her path.

"Arabella, please. Come with me. We can leave. Start over." Alyssa seized the woman by the arms, jostling her.

Yet the waitress did not reply. She merely let out a small whimper. One of the men nearby was drawing his weapon, coming towards them. Alyssa saw the threat coming and twisted her body round quickly. She dodged his attack as she pulled one of the daggers from her back. The cold metal of her blade buried itself deep into the man's torso, to the screams and gasps of everyone around. He fell to the ground, clutching his wound, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps. Alyssa's eyes darted around the room, taking in the terrified faces of the witnesses. She was ready for anyone else's attempts.

"Okay. You come with me." Varric said, pulling Alyssa away by the arm. She attempted to attack him, but he was quick, wrenching her arm up behind her back and marching her out of the establishment.

"That mess won't be easy to clear up." he sighed, pushing her towards the stairs to Lowtown.

She spat towards him. Alyssa Morgan was not somebody who liked being told what to do. Survival had taught her to close her feelings off. At that moment she wanted to cry and weep for her sister. The sister that had stood in front of her just minutes before. But crying was showing weakness. Weakness in the face of any enemy only resulted in death. And who knew how many enemies surrounded her.

Varric rolled his eyes. Why did he always get involved with trouble? First Hawke and now this girl. He argued with himself, trying to decide her fate. He would take her to The Hanged Man. Then he could pass her off to Hawke who would definitely find some use for her. Yes, that seemed the wisest choice. She could stay with Hawke. Or with Merrill. Or Anders. Or... Well surely _someone_ would take her in. Yes. Somebody would step forward. After all, a girl with her fighting skills was always useful to have around.

The Hanged man was a shabby pub, filled with fat men quenching their thirst for cheap ale. Varric nudged her up the stairs and pushed her into a room. She found herself in the presence of the strangers from earlier that day as well as a few other people. Most human, one elven.

"Everyone, this is Alyssa. Or so she says." announced Varric. Perplexed eyes looked her over from all directions.

"Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Varric's? I'm Merrill." gushed the new elf. She had a look of childish innocence about her. Like a puppy. Alyssa almost smiled. Almost. She wouldn't smile at anybody. Not yet. Not until she was sure she could trust them.

"What is _it_ doing here?" asked the tattooed elf, the elf she'd already met. Once again, something clenched at her heart when she saw him. It was something about him...

Fenris looked down at her in disdain. He wanted to hate her. To rip her heart out and watch the light fade from her eyes. Yet, he couldn't. It was the same thing that had made him hesitate previously. She spoke to him somehow. Everything about her from the way she frowned up at him to the way she spoke. How she'd attempted to intimidate him had been strangely endearing. In the way a kitten could try to act like a tiger. He pulled his gaze away from her. He loathed her all the same.

"Now, now, Fenris. Is that anyway to talk to a guest?" smirked Hawke from a corner. "I'm Hawke, but you may have remembered that from earlier."

"And I'm Anders." added the handsome blonde mage. "Don't mind the dog he's always snappy around mealtime."

"Says the abomination." retorted Fenris bitterly.

They all introduced themselves. Aveline, the city guard captain with the beautiful red hair. Sebastian, the prince turned chantry boy. And of course, Isabela, the curvaceous woman with the pouty lips and dark sun-kissed skin. Alyssa watched in silence as the group gossiped and discussed recent news they'd heard. She did the only thing she could and ordered a drink. She could have left. It wouldn't be difficult to slip away unseen but she figured that if she stuck around she might discover something of use.

The group gossiped for a long time, until eventually Hawke stood and silence fell.

"Well this is nice and all, but we have business to discuss." declared Hawke, her eyes watching Alyssa with curiosity.

"Then let's begin." said Varric, clearing his throat. "First thing is-"

Fenris interrupted him. "Your _friend _is still here." he pointed out.

Alyssa sat in the corner of the room, nursing a whiskey. It might have been her third or fourth, but she didn't know. The sadness had crept in. There had been a reason as to why she had recognised her sister immediately. Arabella was the spitting image of their mother. She could deny who she was however much she wanted but Alyssa knew it was her. She was determined to find her again. There must have been a reason for her denying the truth to Alyssa. But in the midst of all this, it was the reminder of her mother that hurt her the most. It felt like an ancient wound had been torn open once more.

The young woman picked at the wooden surface of the desk she sat at with a small knife. She watched the wood splinter as she carved into it.

Varric glanced towards Alyssa then back to the group. A sigh drifted from his mouth.

"About that..." he started, pausing to take in a deep breath. "I was hoping one of you would take her in for a few days. I need to clear up the mess she made down at the Blooming Rose and it might take a while to smooth things over with Madam Lusine. I need someone to make sure she doesn't cause any more trouble there and that involves someone keeping an eye on her."

Isabela let out a laugh. "Well that means I'm out. My room here is far too small for two. Unless she wants to share a bed." Isabela paused for thought, looking Alyssa up and down slowly. "I take back my initial comment. I'm still in."

Varric rolled his eyes, raising a hand to rub the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Anyone else?"

"My home is small and it's hardly worthy of a guest." Merrill's tone was apologetic.

"I don't have a home so to speak." excused Anders. "And Sebastian's life is at the chantry."

Aveline immediately spoke. "Viscount's Keep is out of the question."

"Aw come on, Hawke. You must have plenty of space in that big old estate of yours."

"I've got Bodahn and Sandal staying with me and mother is determined that Bethany will return, so I can't touch her room. And now I've got Oranna living there too." Hawke sighed. She looked down at the ground but after a few seconds her head snapped up, her eyes meeting with Varric's. "But I'm sure Fenris has a room free. She'll stay there."

"Absolutely not!" shouted Fenris, jumping to his feet. His fists were clenched in anger.

"Fenris, be reasonable." urged Sebastian.

"Reasonable? Why won't you all be reasonable and take her in?"

"None of us have the means to do so." Anders pointed out.

"If one of you wants her, then take her. She is not staying with me." growled Fenris. He glared at all of them one last time, emphasising his words, before turning sharply on his heel and leaving.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm sorry! I warned it was short. I will endeavour to write the next chapter as soon as possible. Thank you for reading! :D**


	4. Chapter 4  Aftermath

"Well, that's sorted then." shrugged Hawke, an eyebrow raised. "She's staying with Fenris."

There was a short pause until Merrill spoke.

"Aren't we going to talk about Danarius?" she asked.

Everyone shushed her, throwing a few looks over to where the stranger sat. Alyssa's hearing heightened. This was the information she wanted to hear. She downed the rest of her drink and stood. She dropped her eyelids and let her body sway to the side, taking a few shaky steps before she allowed herself to fall to the ground, making a big show of apparently passing out.

"Maker! Has nobody been watching how much she's drunk?" exclaimed Varric.

The words rang clearly in Alyssa's ears. She listened to them argue some about whose responsibility she was and eventually she felt herself being lifted from the ground. Much to her disappointment, they did not speak further of this 'Danarius'.

"Anders, can't you do something? I doubt Fenris would be pleased if we took her over drunk." someone said, maybe Hawke but Alyssa couldn't be sure.

Alyssa almost smirked. So they really believed that she was stupid enough to get stupidly drunk in the midst of strangers?

"I can make her rest properly. She'll recover faster." replied the mage.

Alyssa's eyes snapped open, her voice ready to protest. However, she was silenced as a spell covered her, sending her into a deep sleep.

x-x-x-x-x

The moonlight was shining in on her when her heavy eyelids fluttered open. Alyssa sat up, her hand immediately reaching for her weapons. She grasped at air. Her weapons were no longer on her back. She searched around the room for them, the eerie glow of the moon reaching every corner. Panic rose in her chest when she couldn't see her weapons or her small backpack. In fact, when she looked down at her self she was wearing her linen tunic and leather breeches, her leather chestplate removed.

"No." she whispered. "Please, no."

She crept to the door, the dust on the ground muffling her steps. Opening the door just a crack she listened for voices. She heard footsteps approaching and a conversation becoming louder.

"What did you expect us to do?"

"I don't want her here."

"She seems to know something about Arabella. That means she knows something about Danarius."

Alyssa felt sick. They knew Arabella. They had waited for the opportunity to take her weapons and now they were going to ambush her. Her best bet would be leaving through the window. An estate as old this would likely have old stone walls. Uneven and easily scaleable to someone with a high level of agility. According to her calculations, she'd be on the ground within one minute. From there she could slip into the shadows and run. But she couldn't go. Not without her belongings. Not without her mother's comb. Her attention turned back to the conversation. The footsteps had stopped. They were now a few yards from the door, discussing her fate.

"The fact she might know Danarius is exactly why I don't want her here. She could be a spy."

"Keep her around. She might have information."

"Exactly. Besides, she has no weapons now. She's pretty much defenceless."

"Fine. I'm not going to be happy about this though."

Alyssa was trying to work out whose voice was whose when she heard footsteps approaching. Just one set of footsteps this time.

She stepped back moments before the door was thrown open, light leaking into the room. The elf they called Fenris stood in the doorway.

"Do not enter my sleeping quarters. I won't hesitate to kill you." he ordered.

Alyssa nodded and swallowed dryly. "Where are my things?" she asked.

"In storage. I'm not stupid enough to trust you with your weapons."

"What about my backpack?" she asked. Alyssa suddenly felt very small and meek. The memory of her mother haunted her. Sadness rose within her, filling her completely.

"I'm not trusting you with anything." he retorted.

Alyssa felt empty, like her soul was shattering within her and the shards settling in the pit of her stomach.

"Please." she begged, tear stinging at her eyes. She was crumbling and she couldn't do anything to stop it.

There was something so vulnerable in her voice that Fenris froze, his eyes softened a little but they were still narrowed in suspicion.

"Why is your backpack so important to you?" he asked, his voice brittle.

Alyssa let a tear roll down her cheek, no longer able to keep it in. She sank to her knees and shook her head slowly as more tears followed the first, falling to the ground and leaving little dark spots in the dust. They stayed that way for what seemed like years, Fenris standing in the lit doorway and Alyssa on the ground until she finally found her voice. In no more than a meek squeak she spoke.

"You wouldn't understand."

Fenris glowered down at her. People always assumed that he wouldn't understand. Yet they always thought they would understand him. How hypocritical of these humans.

"Well I won't bother to try to then." Replied Fenris harshly as he turned on his heel and left, shutting the door behind him.

Alyssa heard the heavy click of the lock and involuntarily rolled her eyes. She wiped her eyes with a savage swipe of her hand and looked at the door, her jaw set. If the irritating elf wasn't going to give her back what was hers then she was going to take it back herself. Her eyes darted around the room, as she thought about what to do next. She had three approaches that she could take. The first was the easiest. Trick Fenris into opening the door. It would also make it the hardest as she wouldn't have the element of surprise to eliminate him. She mentally shelved the idea and moved onto the next option. Pick the lock. Also easy, but very risky. She had no idea of where in the mansion Fenris was and for all she knew, he could be standing right outside the door. Which brought her to plan number three. She settled for that one and let out a sigh. She could feel her eyes becoming red and puffy even from the few minutes of crying. It'd been years since she'd cried. Generally she walked through life just feeling numb. Void of emotion. Not today. Her mother's comb was all she had left of any of her family. It had been a gift from her father to her mother. She'd never known her father but she had often imagined him. A good, hard-working and honest man. In her dreams, he had an unkempt beard and a ruddy face with a jolly smile permanently adorning his lips.

Alyssa stood, her scuffed boots moving silently across the floor. She reached the window and effortlessly pulled herself up to ledge. Just as she'd expected, the jagged stone left rough edges jutting from the building. She leaned out as far as she dared, scanning the side of the building for windows and found out a few metres down. No light shone through it, so she took it as a safe bet. Her eyes found the best stones to step on and she grabbed onto the rough stone, easing her body out of the window. She was quick across the surface. Alyssa relished the feel of the rough stone as it grazed the skin of her hands. It comforted her, reminded her of the blisters and callouses that weapons left when you used them often. She launched herself through the lower window and landed on her haunches. She'd made it. She let out a sigh and was ready to rise to standing but something crawled across her skin. That feeling that something wasn't right. Goosebumps rose up on her arms.

The room flooded with light.

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><p><strong>AN: **Short one again, I know. Boring me. Horrible me. Boo. Yeah, I feel really bad. I'm sorry, readers. I'm so bad. Anyway, I hope you like, and if you do not then I apologise profusely. No, really, I do. Soooo, yeah. I will try to update again soon. I need to get reacquainted with my computer. I feel like I've been away from it for years, when really it's been a matter of weeks. Anyway, I love you all for reading this! Just remember that!


	5. Chapter 5 Afraid This Time

"Don't move!" threatened a voice from the doorway. Alyssa's eyes rose slowly from the ground up to meet the intruder. He was large and broad. Even through his leather cuirass, she could see that his torso was firm and muscular. He wasn't alone. They all wore shades of deep green; an inverted burning tree emblazoned on their chests. She racked her mind, trying to figure out which gang they could be from, what they would want with someone like Fenris. Kirkwall's gangs were normally a lot more subtle, choosing not to mark themselves with emblems. At least not visibly. In Kirkwall, the gangs, mercenaries and smugglers preferred to stay under the radar and away from the attention of the city guard. So that meant they'd come from outside the city. Who were they? What were they after? She couldn't buy any more time. They were beginning to get impatient.

"Well don't you just look peachy? I'll bet you taste peachy too." The man licked his lips hungrily, smacking them together.

Alyssa raised one eyebrow and put on her sweetest smile. _We'll see how peachy I taste when I gouge your eyes out with my bare hands. _She straightened her legs and stood. Raising her hands she batted her eyelashes at the man. "I think you've made a mistake." she said.

"Don't try it, sweetheart. Just put your weapons down in front of you and then turn around. We'll take you back to Danarius and then all will be well. Might be he'll find some use for you." the man replied.

The tips of her ears grew hot with anger. Danarius. She'd heard the name in childhood, in connection with her mother's murder. In connection with Leto's disappearance. And just her luck, she'd stumbled onto people who knew it on her first day back.

"But I don't have any weapons on me." she protested, backing away. In her head, the impending fight panned out.

"Urm, not to be rude or anything, boss but Danarius is looking for an elf. A male elf. She don't look like no male elf to me." said another man, behind the first.

"Quiet, Seymour. Just because we found ourselves a little something extra… Danarius doesn't have to know what we did to her before bringing her back." The first man's face puffed up with his wide smile. He took a step closer. She braced herself ready to fight.

The room filled with five men. The first was obviously in charge and they all looked to him for orders. He smiled wider, looking sleazily at her as he rubbed the front of his breeches.

Alyssa's breath caught in her throat. She refused to let this happen. She would not be touched by the likes of them. She took a deep breath, then everything happened so quickly.

The men charged towards her. She started to fight, holding a few off. Leaning down she grabbed for the dagger in her boot, but Hawke and her friends had been thorough. It was there no longer. A boot kicked her stomach, another crashing down on her back as she fell. Her face was pressed into the rushes that covered the floor, the dust filling her nostrils. Someone weighed down her shoulders and her head, whilst strong hands clamped her wrists, holding them behind her back. She tried to kick, but her ankles, too, were held. Her eyes stung. Panic took over. She couldn't breathe. The world was closing in on her and she knew what was to come. Everything was caving in. The weight pressed down harder on her back, pushing all available air out of her lungs. Gasps left her mouth; short, sharp and desperate. She pressed her eyes shut and waited. The men were making jokes, jeering at her but she couldn't hear what they were saying. Everything was foggy. Her eyes were shut so tightly it hurt, yet tears found a means of escape. Large hands grabbed the back of her breeches and for a second, the weight on her back let up, just enough to fill her lungs with air. She screamed. Loud as she could, she screamed. The most horrific, savage sound came from the man; it was almost a grunt like he enjoyed her screaming. It felt like a life time. It felt like her lungs would give out. But it was over in a matter of seconds. The hands were gone from her breeches. The weights lifted off her back. Flailing and screaming, she turned over onto her back until she saw that Fenris stood there, covered in blood, the bodies of the men strewn across the floor, like limp rag dolls. She screamed at him, loud as she could until her throat was raw. Fenris watched her with cold eyes as Hawke and Anders made sure the men were dead and searched them for clues as to where they'd come from. Alyssa's screams gave way to her fear and she did the only thing she could. She rolled onto her side and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Why aren't you in your room?" demanded Fenris. He knew this wouldn't be simple and straightforward. It would be too much to ask for the gods to send him an easy and obedient… Prisoner? Hostage? Nuisance? Curse the gods. He didn't believe in them anyway so why would they do anything for him. If they even existed, of course.

She whimpered in response, curling herself into a ball and just crying harder. She wished she'd stayed in the stupid locked room after all. He asked again. Nudged her in the ribs with the tip of his boot.

His patience was giving out. He turned away from her and something dark flashed in his eyes. Turning back towards her, his voice was a cruel, menacing growl. "I said why aren't you-"

"Fenris, enough!"

Alyssa felt hands on her, and initially she flinched. But these hands weren't malicious and threatening. On the contrary, they felt soft and comforting. She opened her eyes. Through a hazy window of tears, she saw Hawke, the woman from earlier. She threw herself at the woman, taking her aback. Hawke tentatively held the girl, the action quite alien to her at first, but then she held tighter as the stranger wept against her.

"Anders?" Hawke whispered, giving him a pleading look.

The mage sighed, rolling his eyes. "Fine."

The next thing Alyssa knew, a tiredness overcame her. Her eyes relaxed, the tears stopped flowing and her body turned limp as she fell into a deep rest for the second time that night.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

"She cannot stay here." Fenris stated, his voice void of any emotion.

Hawke had just about heard enough. "Look, my incredibly annoying brooding elf, she's staying here. From what I can see, you two have a mutual enemy. Danarius. If that wasn't enough to bind you together, she also seems to have some sort of fucked up history and just like you, killing means nothing to her. She killed a man today in The Blooming Rose just because he unsheathed his weapon towards her. And that's not an innuendo, even if it did happen in a brothel."

Fenris looked at Hawke and Anders in turn. It was a good thing they'd come back to the mansion and awoken him. Otherwise he might have come too late and the girl would be dead. He'd never felt protective of anyone. But this girl… Something about her was so familiar to him. Yet she was just a stranger. Another damaged person trying to make a future whilst forgetting the past. Something within him awoke when she was near. And he loathed her for making him feel.

"I've lightened her memories of tonight a little. She won't remember this night to be as upsetting or as harrowing as it was. It might seem odd to her but she won't remember feeling scared or panicking tonight. She'll just remember that you came in and stopped everything." Anders' voice was kind.

"Leave us." It was almost a growl.

Hawke turned towards him. "What? You'll kill her!"

"You have my word that I will not."

She hesitated. Should she trust him? Fenris looked at this girl in a certain way. It was a look she'd only ever seen him hold for one other person before. Her. His word did not satisfy Hawke. Not completely. But it was all he could give her. She stood inches away from him, her eyes boring into his. "She could be the key to finding him and ending your nightmare. Do not throw this chance away."

With that warning, Hawke gave him a sad smile and turned, leaving the room and taking Anders by the arm. Fenris stood still as a statue until he heard the heavy door close. He looked down at the girl, more closely than before. Her features were plain but pretty. Not in a delicate way like the whores at the brothel, but in a more worldly, weathered way. This was the kind of girl who had been knocked down and proudly stood back up. He noted the slight bump on the bridge of her nose, subtle yet there, probably the result of a broken nose. Her eyelashes were long and dark, giving her a sultry look. His eyes roved down her face to her lips. Her lips. They looked so soft and gentle that he could hardly believe that they could ever belong on the face of such a girl. And more than that he wanted to reach out a finger and touch them. To kiss them. To know that they were his. His finger hovered over them, millimetres away. So close he could feel the heat coming from her skin, feel the soft air coming from her slightly parted lips as she breathed. He could imagine how they would feel on his. He'd never had that with anyone. Nobody had ever looked at him that way or wanted to. He served to intimidate. That was all. Yes. Intimidate. Not act like some lovesick hero from one of Varric's tales. He drew his hand back, recoiling in disgust at what he'd almost done.

He didn't want her to stay here. But Hawke was right. She could be the key to finding his old master. He needed to protect her. And there was only one way he could do that. He picked her up in his arms, holding her tight to him and carried her up to the room he called his. Carefully he laid her down on the bed. He took off his heavy armour and pulled on a pair of cotton trousers and then lay down beside her, making sure not to lie under the same blanket and to lie far enough away that they did not touch. This way she'd be safe. He'd protect her for as long as he needed her. Once he'd found Danarius then she'd be disposable. But until then he needed her.

He closed his eyes, trying to fall to sleep. It was at this time every night that, for a few seconds, memories of his former life flitted before his eyes. They were there, so real, so close. But they were like snowflakes. Whenever he caught them, they'd melt away and by the morning he'd have forgotten what they were. Tonight was different. He felt warmth beside him in the bed, thawing him to the core. And, just before he let sleep take him, he heard her voice, thin as a summer breeze.

"Leto."

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><p><strong>AN: Hello again! Sorry everybody, I've been very busy with work etc and I'm currently studying for my degree so finding time to write is difficult. What's worse is that if I open up word processor to do some studying, I almost always end up writing. Then I feel bad for not studying and I sit there, tempted by fanficcing but plagued by deadlines. But fear not, I will make sure to find time for both now :D I've also been awake for two days straight now, playing Dragon Age again and going to my day job as well but shhhh don't tell anybody that I'm living off red bull and coffee. Anyway, I always welcome messages and reviews, lovely people! Let me know what you think and thank you so very much for reading :)**


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